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— Janet Evanovich"My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating with Batman."
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The latest numbers we have for March 2017, they showed that March was the fourth warmest month that we have records on, dating back to the 1880s, and the warmest month in a non-El Niño period. That is to say, we're kind of in a permanent El Niño now. The temperature is always elevated. March saw record lows for the date in global sea ice. That's really, really scary. We are melting some of the biggest physical features on our earth.
— Donald Trump
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You just can't make up random information and say it sarcastically and have it make sense. You can't just be like, 'I went out on a date with a Jewish girl. She was more rude than a wolfcat - an animal I've made up and decided is rude.
— Eugene Mirman
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