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— Jay Leno"The White House has now released military documents that they say prove George Bush met his requirements for the National Guard. Big deal, we've got documents that prove Al Gore won the election."
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There was an embarrassing moment in the White House earlier today. They were looking around while searching for George Bush's military records. They actually found some old Al Gore ballots.
— David Letterman
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The moment the game (AL Pennant versus the Twins) was over I sprinted for the dugout. The fans were pouring onto the field. If they'd caught me they'd have torn my uniform into shreds for souvenirs.
— Carl Yastrzemski
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