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"If you can't remember the last time you had sex with a woman, you're either gay, or married."

— Jeff Foxworthy
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The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.

— Russell Howard

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When a poor person dies I want then to die in the arms of somebody who loves them. I want them to be able to look for the last time into the eyes of somebody who cares for them

— Mother Teresa

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