"I understand Donald Trump's goals. That's why I supported him for president. I share his beliefs that we've got to do more about crime, more about illegal immigration, more about gangs and violence and it's an honor and a pleasure to be able to lead that effort."

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I'm a kid from Minnesota. I like seeing movie stars! So I'm there at The ivy, I've got my shrimp, Eddie Murphy comes in with his gang. I said to the waiter, as any good Midwestern boy would, "Hey, put Eddie's check on my American Express card, but don't tell him that I did it 'til I'm gone." Next day I got a call from manager who said, "Eddie's doing a movie, he was very impressed that you bought him lunch." So remember: sometimes buying people lunch can really work out well for you.

— Louie Anderson