"Got any pitches? I got five pitches-rise-ball, curveball, screwball, drop-ball and changeup."

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I couldn't catch a ball if it had Elmer's Glue all over it. And my father had to be this ex-football star. He didn't know what to tell his friends, so he told them all I had Polio. On Father's Day, I used to limp for him.

— Matthew West