"I get all these screenplays that start 'Tawnya is in the shower. The water streams down her naked, perky breasts'. I don't think this is happening to Natalie Portman."

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If the soup had been as warm as the wine; if the wine had been as old as the turkey; and if the turkey had had a breast like the maid, it would have been a swell dinner.

— Duncan Hines