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— Jessica Simpson"I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hoohah! Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks it will be like a fire hydrant!"
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Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.
— Jim Gaffigan
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Chasing a burning girl down a city street is a lot harder than it sounds. Civilians tend to stop and stare and this turns them into human bowling pins. Slow whiny bowling pins.
— Richard Kadrey
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