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— Jimmy Carr"My favourite road sign is 'Falling Rocks'. What exactly am I supposed to do with that information? They may as well have a sign saying "Random accidents ahead", "Life's a lottery, Be lucky.""
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Ten years after the Chernobyl accident, and am I the only one that's disappointed? Still no superheros.
— Jimmy Carr
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A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms"
— Tommy Cooper
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