"You never want to be the grumpy guy, although I do have quite a grumpy face."

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Real people are good and grumpy. They're nice and mean. And I come from a nice and mean family. My mom was nice, and my dad was mean. So I would've served myself a lot better if Louie Lundgren would've blown up at some of the people he was talking to. I think it would've really served everybody better. We'd probably still be on the air!

— Louie Anderson