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— Jimmy Fallon"A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial."
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There were sirens and the cops were there and they took me to the police station and I got arrested, it was really embarrassing. They actually just- they impeached me over the whole thing, they tried, well, they did impeach me, but I didn't have to actually stop being president, so it was okay. The police weren't actually that involved, it was mostly Congress.
— Hank Green
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A guy in Pennsylvania was arrested because he was drunk in his golf cart going from bar to bar. So they arrested him. I said: Wait a minute. Isn't that golf?
— David Letterman
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