"The truth is, I pretend to be a cynic, but I am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get."

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[in the]..curious way that my idealism has been mixed with my fatalism, so that I can possess the soul of a dreamer and that of a cynic at the same time......I possess a power of magic...[to] destroy the balance of a well-designed destiny with my diabolical mind.

— Anais Nin