"I inherited that penchant for intellectualism, a character flaw that these days can only be thoroughly eradicated by getting Z’ed up."

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Lordy, lordy, lordy do I love money. It is a character flaw, no doubt, one that springs from a panicked childhood in which I always felt as if our family was only a couple missed child support payments from being tossed onto the pitiless streets of our suburban New Jersey town.

— Michael Ian Black