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"Ahh, women! I never met one yet that was half as reliable as a horse!"

— John Wayne
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Anyone willing to do what is required to become president of the United States is thereby barred from taking that office. I'm only half joking

— Alan Greenspan

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Why do you think people close their eyes when they kiss? Think about it. In the real world, if you saw someone an-inch-and-a-half away, coming at you with their eyes open and their lips puckered, you'd scream. It's alarming.

— Paul Reiser

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