"I probably have the worst wardrobe. It's the most ill-fitting with the worst patterns and colors and the most nipple rubbage. There's bad chafing, and it's always tight in all the wrong places. What's sad is that I'm kinda getting used to it."

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I was never a class clown or anything like that, but I do remember being in the first grade and my teacher, Mr. Chad, told the class one day that we were going to do some exercises. He meant math exercises, but I stood up and started doing jumping jacks. To this day, I don't know what possessed me to do that, but all my friends cracked up.

— Will Ferrell