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— Juicy J"What I live and do is music. When I'm not doing that, I'm just kicking back, watching my stocks and bonds and checks coming in the mailbox. I really don't have anything else I do. I may go to a movie or something. It's just family time and things like that."
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If I'm out to dinner with a group of friends, and somebody offers to pay for the check, I immediately reach for my wallet. Inside is a note that says, "Say thanks!"
— Mitch Hedberg
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I went up on stage, and said, "Why did the chicken cross the road? To check out the chicks." I was a genius at 10. Try telling that at 21, and you look hacky and stupid. That was the only joke I've ever told. Everything since has been character voices, doing impressions or just telling stories.
— Gabriel Iglesias
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