"Let me hear the music. I'ma let the music instruct me on which way to go. Forwards, backwards, left, right. It's like boxing. I'm only as strong as my opponent."

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Nothing's true that I say, because I don't really want to say anything. I don't think my life's that cool, and I don't think my opinion's that valid. They're just silly jokes. Usually I just take a topic that isn't funny at all, like Shakespeare, and work backwards. I just try to find an unfunny subject.

— Bo Burnham