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— Larry Gelbart"Marriage isn't all that it's cracked up to be, let me tell you. Honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce."
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A new study found that women gain more weight after marriage, but men gain more weight after a divorce. Yeah, the divorce usually takes place after men point out that women gained more weight after marriage.
— Jimmy Fallon
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Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.
— Evan Esar
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