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— Les Dawson"My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed; I never knew they worked."
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If you look at Drudge and if you see headlines that portend the end of the world tomorrow, don't click on it. Just avoid the crap that pollutes the daily so-called news that comes from left-wing news organizations. You will be amazed. And it doesn't take long, either. Just two days. You go on a Drive-By Media fast, two days of it, and your outlook on life will be dramatically improved.
— Rush Limbaugh
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I can say with a solid degree of authority that I am a selfish person. I spontaneously forget the names of more people than not, unless I want to make out with them. I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. I tip taxi drivers so poorly I'm amazed none of them have run over my foot while speeding off.
— Sloane Crosley
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