"Ive been to the White House and had Hilary Clinton push through the crowd to come and meet me. Chelsea Clinton, too."

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Long Island always seems to be the hardest place for some reason. There are always excuses. People will say, "Well, there's a lot to do in Long Island..." but you know what, if Jim Gaffigan was here, tickets would be gone a month ago, if Chelsea Handler was at the Barclays Center, gone.

— Jay Mohr