"We must cherish our inheritance. We must preserve our nationality for the youth of our future. The story should be written down to pass on."

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[Newlyweds,] these optimistic young bastards, promise to honor and cherish each other through hot flashes and mid-life crises and a cumulative 50-pound weight gain, until that far-off day when one of them is finally able to rest in peace. You know, because they can't hear the snoring anymore.

— Jenna McCarthy