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— Mae West"All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else."
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My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
— Rodney Dangerfield
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My boyfriend keeps telling me I've got to own things. So, first I bought this car. And then he told me I oughta get a house. 'Why a house?' 'Well, you gotta have a place to park the car.'
— Julia Roberts
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