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"Marriage? I ain't got time for a husband or child. All my life I've looked after myself as if I was my own child."

— Mae West
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Dennis Thatcher, husband of Margaret Thatcher, when asked who wore the pants in his house, said "I do, and I also wash and iron them." I only like two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.

— Mae West

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The only time that most women give their orating husbands undivided attention is when the old boys mumble in their sleep.

— Wilson Mizner

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