"I had an opportunity many, many times to go to the Playboy Mansion with Hugh Hefner. Jerry Buss asked me many times and you know what, looking back that was stupid of me not going there."

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Jerry Lewis has been married twenty times. He gets married on a Tuesday, they find his wife dead in a swimming pool on Thursday. Maybe if you married someone who's old enough to swim next time, Ok Jerry?

— Denis Leary