"My stylist chose the white gloves and I think she did a spectacular job....I couldn't believe the stir my gloves were making at the dinner."

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A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

— Tommy Cooper