"Such things as anguish, woe, affliction, guilt, feelings of awfulness, and utter wretchedness, the bread and butter of Days of Yore and Russians, sadly have very little staying power in these lickety-split Modern Times."

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I've never felt like I needed to change. I've always thought, 'If you want somebody different, pick somebody else.' But sure, criticism can sometimes still get to me. Some things are so malicious, they knock the wind out of you. It's like I'm managing to achieve all this success in spite of my affliction... Would you ever put [America's plus-size sweetheart] in the headline for a male star?

— Melissa McCarthy