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"People ask me for my autograph after a show. I'm not famous, I think they're messing with me. I think they're trying to make me late for something."

— Mitch Hedberg
mitch hedberg Quotes Autographs,Ask Me

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Mitch Hedberg
Autographs
Ask Me

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It was always a funny thing when someone would ask me my name and I would say "Brooklyn." They would always think that I meant that I lived in Brooklyn, and I would have to clarify that.

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I was walking down the street, and I found a man's hand in my pocket. I asked, "What do you want?" "A match" "Why didn't you ask me?" "I don't talk to strangers."

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