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— Mort Sahl"Women want their men to be cops. They want you to punish them and tell them what the limits are. The only thing that women hate worse from a man than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry."
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A woman driver went through a red light. The cop stopped her and said, Lady, didn't you see that red light? The woman said, You've seen one, you've seen them all.
— Joey Bishop
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You got a cop under five feet tall, what if he's gotta plant evidence on a high shelf? What then? What if he's gotta chase a suspect onto a ride at Disneyland?
— Greg Giraldo
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