"If theres a choice between tap water and bottled water, the consumer can make that choice. In a very large geography in the world, that choice does not exist."

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How did we get to the point where we're paying for bottled water? That must have been some weird marketing meeting over in France. Some French guy's sitting there, like, "How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water."

— Jim Gaffigan