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— Nassim Nicholas Taleb"A verbal threat is the most authentic certificate of impotence."
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Most people get excited over new cars; I get excited over death certificates. It's no wonder my husband worries about my state of mind.
— Rett MacPherson
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I'm not saying that McDonald's gift certificates caused the obesity epidemic, but in retrospect, the timing is kind of suspicious.
— Jim Gaffigan
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