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— Nicholas Lea"When I'm on my deathbed, I'll hopefully be able to count more friends than parts that I had."
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Let no man's deathbed be a futon.
— Demetri Martin
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On his deathbed he asked for a priest and became a Catholic. That was his wife's religion. It was his own business and none of mine. If you had sentenced one hundred and sixty men to death and seen around eighty of them swing, then maybe at the last minute you would feel the need for some stronger medicine than the Methodists could make.
— Charles Portis
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