"I heard the opening bar of 'Help' as I headed down Polk Street. Every single time I've heard that tune I've taken it as some message from God, a warning of things to come, a perfect description of my mashed-potato character"

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What do you do when you see a man masturbating at a salad baran actual salad shooterbut wait, I'm single, we're both at the salad bar, we have a lot in common. I like fresh produce, he likes to get fresh with produce. I like nuts on my salad, he likes to nut on his salad.

— Alison Rosen