"We have taken that truth, that if you truly believe and you confess Christ even if it costs you your life ... we have taken that beautiful truth and reduced it down to, "If you pray a little prayer before a bunch of people in a church in America, you can be guaranteed you were saved if you think you were sincere.""

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Climate experts say we should tell villagers in developing countries to reduce the amount of cooking smoke they generate to help fix global warming. You know, it's as if these people don't hate us enough already. I mean, they live in mud huts, they have thatch roofs, their clothes are made of straw. We pull up in a bunch of Humvees and SUVs going, 'Hey, you want to cut the smoke out of here?'

— Jay Leno