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— Phyllis Schlafly"The justices have constitutionally protected obscenity in libraries, filth over cable television, and now unlimited internet pornography."
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Larry the Cable Guy has everything: sleeveless shirts, stupid catchphrases. He's Mr. T without the acting chops.
— Lisa Lampanelli
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Why isn’t it fun to watch a videotape of last night’s football game even when we don’t know who won? Because the fact that the game has already been played precludes the possibility that our cheering will somehow penetrate the television, travel through the cable system, find its way to the stadium, and influence the trajectory of the ball as it hurtles toward the goalposts!
— Daniel Gilbert
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