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"Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!"

— Red Buttons
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Did you hear about the accountant who became am embezzler? He ran away with the accounts payable!

— Jackie Mason

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The income tax was devised to give lawyers and certified public accountants business. Few persons can make head, tail, or middle out of it. Einstein admitted he couldn't.

— W. C. Fields

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