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— Red Skelton"I was a sober as the next guy. The only problem is the next guy was Dean Martin"
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John Kerry's victory over Howard Dean has completely changed the presidential race around. Now instead of the rich white guy from Yale who lives in the White house facing off against the rich white guy from Yale who lives in Vermont, he may have to face the rich white guy from Yale who lives in Massachusetts. It's a whole different game.
— Jay Leno
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Howard Dean dropped out of the race today. At least he can't claim his voice wasn't heard.
— Jay Leno
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