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— Red Skelton"You know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist."
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Many massacres have happened when people yell "surprise"! Pearl Harbor. The Tet Offensive. My uncle's 50th birthday party. I was there, man! How many more people gotta die?
— Christopher Titus
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I consider the 70s to be the youth of old age. So all you women out there who are afraid of getting older, just keep your orgasms in place, eat a lot of vegetables, take exercise, and you'll be fine.
— Betty Dodson
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