"You know what make me laugh? Good, clean, honest humor. Not-trying-to-be-funny humor."

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I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.

— Demetri Martin