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— Rita Rudner"All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names."
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You know crazy straws - they go all over the place? These straws are sane. They never lost their mind. They say, "we're going straight to the mouth. That guy who takes a while to get there? He's crazy."
— Mitch Hedberg
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Zane Smith is a guy who can shut you out as well as look at you.
— Jerry Coleman
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