"Actually, now I don't even eat that much anymore. If you tried to follow me now, you'd be in trouble. You wouldn't be able to follow through on life during the day. You wouldn't focus. You'd get brain cramps, probably."

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Sorry to disappoint the liberals who tuned in tonight to gloat about Obama's lead in every poll, but I am not worried. McCain may be behind, but the man is a fighter. He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'quit.' He used to, but it was stored in the same part of his brain that remembered to vet his running mate.

— Stephen Colbert