"Grace cannot prevail...until our lifelong certainty that someone is keeping score has run out of steam and collapsed."

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This is the first step toward understanding the process of real, lasting change: simply knowing with certainty that you can do whatever you need to do. This understanding has a dual edge: On the one hand it increases your confidence and dignity. On the other hand, it places full responsibility on you if you fail to make the change you set out to make. But this is a good thing, not a guilt trip.

— Bo Lozoff