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— Rodney Dangerfield"My kids scotch tape worms to the sidewalk and watch the birds get hernias."
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If you haven't got a hernia yet, you ain't pulling your share.
— George Steinbrenner
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If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.
— Doug Stanhope
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