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— Ronald Reagan"It's not fair to say that Congress spends money like a drunk sailor. At least the sailor is spending his own money!"
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I swear to you, I am the cheapest drunk on the planet. It takes nothing to get me loopy and doing stupid stuff. Yeah. Some of you like that? Well... like riding an electric floor buffer for a shot of tequila. Did it!
— Bill Engvall
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You'd think when you saw my old MTV stuff that I was always drunk and high and all that stuff. I wasn't.
— Pauly Shore
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