"I bought a pair of Carpe Diem boots, which were completely unnecessary and hideously expensive, but they make me feel quite fine and dandy."

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Bought a pair of boots the other day, and they was some silicone gel in there. Big red letters said, "Do not eat." Do they really need that stuff in them boots? Is there really some dude opening a pair of boots goin', "Boy, look at them boots. What the hell? I better eat that. I don't know what the hell that is."

— Larry the Cable Guy