"I got a shotgun and a backhoe and no one looks under a septic tank for a dead body. (Bubba)"

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Man, first I’m shot, now I’m going to be a friggin’ zombie. At this rate, I’ll never live to have my first date or a driver’s license. Ah, gah! I’ve come too far to die a predestrian virgin. Bubba, you can’t let me die…I only have seventeen more months and three days to my sixteenth birthday! (Nick)

— Sherrilyn Kenyon