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— Stephen King"Do you happen to have another Condom? I think I've discovered the cure for headaches."
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A condom is a rubber thing shaped like a wiener that hums.
— Bill Engvall
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The issue we are reluctant to talk about is even more sensitive than condoms. The issue - and I will try to be tasteful here - is that sometimes it seems like maybe the president of the United States is kind of dumb. If you get what I mean. What I mean is, I am not totally confident that the president would get what I mean, unless several aides explained it to him. And even then, he might forget.
— Dave Barry
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