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— Steven Wright"I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it."
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My stepmother sold my birth certificate and someone asked why I didn't buy it back. I don't know, really. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It was mine. It cost me nothing and suddenly I had to buy it back.
— Paul McCartney
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I was the one that got him [Barack Obama] to produce the birth certificate. And I think I did a good job.
— Donald Trump
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