"One-third of Americans have already been forced to change their lifestyle because their disposable income is gone. A guy can't go to the corner bar after a rough day at work to have a beer, that's gone to oil!"

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Condoleezza Rice was confirmed by a vote of 85, 13, despite a contentious but futile protest vote by democrats. By the way, for a fun second term drinking game, chug a beer every time you hear the phrase 'contentious but futile protest vote by democrats.' By the time Jeb Bush is elected, you'll be so wasted you won't even notice the war in Syria.

— Jon Stewart