"I'm not saying my fans are stupid, but I once left a cabbage onstage next to a harmonica and nobody noticed for three hours"

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The meal was pretentious - a kind of beetroot soup with greasy croutons; pork underdone with loud vulgar cabbage, potato croquettes, tinned peas in tiny jam-tart cases, watery gooseberry sauce; trifle made with a resinous wine, so jammy that all my teeth lit up at once.

— Anthony Burgess