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— Tiger Woods"I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart."
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When you are down and out something always turns up - and it is usually the noses of your friends.
— Orson Welles
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I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.
— Steven Wright
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