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"I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian."

— Tina Fey
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Iraq has the second largest oil reserves in the world, it is right in the midst of the major energy reserves in the world. Its been a primary goal of US policy since World War II to control what the State Department called "a stupendous source of strategic power" and one of the greatest material prizes in history.

— Noam Chomsky

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She was so ugly that I took her to a dog show and she won first prize.

— Rodney Dangerfield

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